Are you communicating effectively?

Are you communicating effectively? Living in a hyper connected world means nothing if we do not connect. To connect we need to communicate- communicate to inspire people to excel; to partner with people and communities; to engage with clients and to help them move closer to their goals.

But, this is an area where not just people in general but also most leaders struggle. The reason- they fail to tell their story effectively.
Mostly, communication is understood as transmission of information. A narrative to make it a meaningful conversation is missing.

George Bernard Shaw once said, “The problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

In today’s transformational times it is critical for people and leaders to influence others by cultivating an authentic, trustworthy and compelling narrative. Leading ourselves and our people requires us to tell our stories to engage our audience. When we have been able to engage our audiences- we have been able to communicate effectively. We have lived our story.

How are you engaging with your audiences?
Leaders- how are you developing your stories of transformations?

Do effective, tough conversations help build great teams?

Scene: First 3 months of my team leadership @one of my earlier organizations. My boss & his boss (also my role model on leadership), called me for a closed-door glass cabin meet in the bay where my team was seated- physically at their desktops but virtually in the cabin.
Action: I walked in for an applause. Yes!
Surprise: “Shivani, why has Mr. X resigned?” I was held accountable for it!
Drama: “Shivani, please understand, you’re here ‘coz of your own merit. You’re brilliant, but you need to develop leadership skills.”
Reaction: I looked out- My team’s smiles said it all. Felt defeated, but I decided to call a team meet.
Result: It was tough to do a meeting where all else except me seemed winners. But, effective, tough conversation made by my role model invoked worthy actions from me.

Learnings: It’s never a good feeling to live through a story where you’re solely made accountable-but great leadership asks of us high degree of heroism on accountability. I realized-only way forward in such situations is not by justifying old actions but through new worthy actions.

How do you do effective, tough conversations?

Which thoughts are becoming your beliefs?

If you know what you can do, and that you can do it better than anyone else, then you will surely have the promise of everyone’s endorsement of that particular capability in you. But, the rule is:

“You have to know that you can do it and that you can do it the best!”

What you do not believe, you must not say, for you will never accomplish it, though you may repeat the words ever so often!
And, what you believe, you will always accomplish or get closer to it through your action, though you may never repeat the words so often!

An act of greatness can never be feigned by an act of pretense. And know it:

“The essence of your life is not in your calling, your riches or your alienations, and the likes, but in your silent thoughts that revises your entire approach to life by becoming your belief!”

Remember always:
“You pass off as what you’re worth! No more, no less! Thoughts become beliefs, beliefs lead actions, and actions bring results- good, bad, great,  excellent- entirely your choice!”

Which thoughts are becoming your beliefs?
Do you know what you can do?
What for you is the essence of your life?



speedPic: Courtesy WiseGEEK.


I’ve always been amazed by the hasty side of human nature where people over-speed in the process of acting, assessing, judging people/situations & deciding the way forward.


My question: “What compels one into over-speedy decisioning or as I call it-a hasty decisioning?” Is it the need to over-speed or lack of certain attributes?


The rise & fall of many individuals, empires and businesses since ancient days till this day due to over-speeding blindly amidst situations of their times- makes it evident that while Speed maybe crucial to succeed in today’s hyper-dynamic world, failure to pause and reflect to speed right is fatal!


Today, we need to deal with every succeeding information & possibilities speedily enough to be in the race! How do we do it? Do we over-speed or do we carefully evaluate options while keeping distractions at bay while also being speedy enough to be in the race?


While speed is the key part of any developmental strategy today, we all know that over-speeding can be more catastrophic than slow speed! It leads us to surge forward without a balanced plan to create something that will last.


What in your opinion are the attributes needed to succeed in this world of High-Speed?

How do you intend making these attributes a part of your/your organization’s DNA?

Reach out at





Are you doing enough of what you’ve set out to do?



The truth of success lies in ‘Persistence’. Many dream, some nurture those dreams as well, but very few live those dreams to reality. Why?

Why after having chosen your path are you not abiding by it? Why are you giving in and bundling yourself with the lot- full of qualms and regrets?

Are you afraid doing more of those? Who says excellence comes tiptoeing, dancing into one’s arms?

Alexander during his war with Porus, waded through the Hydapses river in the middle of the stormy night fraught with torrential rain & lightning. Several of his men died and were burnt with lightening. Alexander- breast deep in water, kept through it all- eventually landing a footing on the slippery, unsteady land on the other side.

Do you know of such unnerving, desolate side of the story to success?  Are you in obedience to such disturbances shaking your ‘Will’ and dissuading you from advancing?

Or are you reigning them with your unremitting ‘Grit’?

What is different in the making of these Gritty lots? How are they able to ignore all challenging externalities and continue advancing to their own calling? Want to share your views?

Write to me at

Moment Extraordinaire…

Every moment is different both in its influence and its consequential effect on life. The moments that establish hope ring in briefly than the moments that stream into hours, days, years- where discouragement, gloom and desperation dictate our vision. Yet, we continue to live on. There is so much depth & force in those pithy moments that we are compelled to attribute more reality to them than to all other experiences of dashed hopes.

That is how powerful even those brief moments of hope and positivism are!!

Most of the time, opportunities arrive shrouded in layers of difficult moments, that we so habitually with all our negativism miss to see through our naked eyes. They stare us in the face, but we see them not until that moment when our mind is ripened enough to behold them. And when we do, it appears like a precious dream moment arriving to us fortunate ones, whereas, in reality, these moments indefinitely awaited our attention!!

It seems only right to say that ‘the state of our being’ truly depends on the ‘depth of the sentiment’ with which we live life. No great moment arrives tagged as ‘One’. It is only the heightened peak of the several ordinary moments in which we most deeply and faithfully conduct our lives’ actions.

Mature lives..Immature living!

2013-10-26 14.56.23

It’s a new morning. This picture of absolutely mesmerizing  beauty of nature is from my backyard. 

How life-affirming are the vibes! The rays of sunshine sneaking through the tall trees, as though making way to sparkle the solitude of the confined space. Every time I look at these sneaking sun rays, I’m mellowed by its warmth & kindness. I often feel what it would be like, if, humans showed similar affection for each other..and be more human than just human beings…

We are always spell-bound by natural beauty. WE ONLY FORGET OUR PART IN IT!! No! I’m not asking you to start planting trees now. Actually you can do that later! 

Just wondering, if, like sun rays we could sparkle some lives around us. We are all part of the same nature!

Wondering if the lost sparkle in many eyes, could be made to glisten when someone holds them and tells them, how grateful they are for having them in their lives. Don’t know why it’s so difficult for people to express that!

Or is it lost somewhere in the conundrums of life? Or is it outdated, to show love and gratitude for people in our lives? Spouses feel kids are grown up and kids feel they are grown up and independent!

After all, we do have that great love locked up in our bosom for our loved ones- what’s the need for that explicit expression & “reassurance” of those feelings?  

But at work? Oh! there this rule does not apply! There we must keep reassuring our worth month on month and year on year. Family & friends? Oh that’s OK! They can be taken for granted! They will always be there!

Oh yes! At office also- it only works with the performance bit! Actually for some of us that’s only a self proclaimed effort- how much we actually make a difference to the organization? Well, how does it matter? At least we rush to be there every morning right? And it’s fine- we do get salary after all! 

As for the colleagues around. We do have some best buddies. Gossiping about a colleague with a glum face-right opposite our desk is just fine! There is no need of peeping behind those expressions to discover a solitary being, or a being whose conditioning has eclipsed his/her smile. Why miss a lunch with our best buddy to make this cynic laugh? After all this very cynicism is the topic of entertainment! 

I wonder, if we can ever break free from our botched up understanding of living life, and, sparkle the spaces around us. Especially when there is nothing blocking the path, except for our own, self consumed, shallow living..



Are you finding your true calling?


Do you feel stuck in your current role? Don’t know what you’re fit for nor what you want?

In an interesting conversation with a friend of mine in a similar state, I gave that not so well accepted advise: “Concentrate on the current role to the best of your ability & you will soon know!!” 

But my curious self  got into 360 degree search. Some more phone calls and discussions pointed towards an ideal situation where one can know and choose to be in the perfect job right at the beginning of their career. This in no way conformed to the discussion I had with my friend. I was devastated!

All views converged to:  “Skill/Qualification & Profession Mismatch!!” : stated as simply as I write!

My points:
How does one know the depths of one’s skills?
How does one know whether one is suited for their current role (considering one is in that role) -unless one gives in their 100 % to what that role demands?

In today’s world of diverse skill requirements- who says an absence or presence of one particular skill- implies suitability/non-suitability of a person in a role?

On Qualification and Profession Mismatch- Washington post article dated 20th May 2013 says: “Only 27% of college grads have a job related to their major.” (See the link at the bottom of this post)

What about the balance 73 % ? Meant to remain confused, dissatisfied? Doing something they dislike? Do we mean they’ve hit the dead end- to rut at what they do? 

And this was a Federal Reserve Bank of New York Staff Report! Imagine such report results in societies where people undertake qualifications just because there parent advised them to do that or because they friends have taken that or they think it’s the cool thing to do! 

Folks, you must be kidding me to believe it! The data just states facts! This state of- dissatisfaction cries out for some-serious reasoning!

For, if it were to continue as is, which it may and probably will, unless -YOU do something about it- you end in time as a Confused Cribber!!!

But do WHAT? How does concentrating on current role help? Well- it’s like you’re stuck in the midst of a thick forest with several path outward but you’re not sure which one will lead you to the highway. Which path would you take? Why? What will form the basis of your preference?

This is just some “food for thought!”
Reach out at to discuss further.